Insanity Check - Hillary Clinton, Nick Cannon/Mariah Carey and Wendy's Fish Sandwiches

Delusional isn’t the Word

Howard Wolfson is Hillary Clinton’s Communication Director. Yesterday evening Wolfson was on HardBall with Chris Matthews and I must say, dude either has one HELL of a poker face OR he takes the word delusional to a new and an exceptionally unbelievable high level. Literally, I was dumbfounded as I watched this man sit there with a straight face and ignore trivial things such as logic and fact which indicate that his candidate has as much a chance at winning as a man with no legs and arms winning a Punt, Pass and Kick contest. Really, this isn’t like when Huckabee stayed in the Republican race. Huckabee pretty much knew it was over and didn’t appear this delusional. When I hear Hillary and the rest of her people speak and I get the feeling that they actually believe that she has a chance. Watch the interview on Hardball to form your own opinion:...Click for more

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present to You…

The Presumptive Democratic Nominee and future President of the United States, Barack Obama. I wasn’t going to post on this topic today, but with Senator Obama whooping ass in North Carolina and ending up within 2% of Clinton in Indiana, this race is OVER. I don’t care what the mainstream media says about hypothetical “What if’s” and the Clinton chances in this race.

“What if” West Virginias start fucking like crazy between now and next Tuesday, feed the babies aging pills and quadruple their population of voting adults helping Clinton to overcome Obama’s popular vote count.

“What if” States that end in the letter “a” decide to cede from the United States therefore invalidating any Obama wins in those states and helping Clinton to overcome his leads in states won.

“What if” we include the votes of Florida and Michigan as to not disenfranchise the voters, but then we disenfranchise the voters of caucuses because caucuses don’t count.

“What if” the rapture occurs and Hillary’s ass gets left behind.

Seriously, the media’s “What if’s” are just as ridiculous. Then there’s the Clinton campaign and their delusion that Clinton is still in this race. Hold on…let me clear my throat.

BITCH IT’S OVER!!!...Click for more

First Recording of Insanity Check Radio Talk Show

This is the first recording of Insanity Check, the online talk show of the Insanity Report hosted by Kriss and the Korean. This was our first recorded show and hopefully as we do more of them they will get better. We recorded this show on Sunday. The hope is that we will eventually do them live and be able to accept live calls in. Until then, if you would like the Korean and I to put our “infinite wisdom” to a question you have or for some comical but solid advice, email us at AskanAsshole@TheInsanityReport.com. If you just would like to suggest a crazy story for us to talk about, give some constructive (or destructive, we really don’t care) criticism or just shoot the shit…contact us at KrissandtheKorean@TheInsanityReport.com (Ignore the email given at the end of the recording). Let us know what you think. We’re trying to do these once a week for now....Click for more

The Wright Game is Chess, Not Checkers

"The shit's chess, it ain't checkers." - Alonzo, Training Day

When Denzel Washington’s character, Alonzo in Training Day, uttered those words, I knew instantly it would become phrase repeated by many but not truly understood. It was a “cool” phrase by an even “cooler” character and therefore it was easy to see it become pop culture’s methamphetamine. Now everyone uses it in a faux attempt to seem intelligent but very few seem to be able to really apply the meaning of the quote. See, in checkers, all the pieces are the same. Each piece has the same restrictions and abilities as all the other pieces on the board. It makes strategy in a game of checkers very simplistic (In comparison to other games). Chess on the other hand, is a complicated strategic game. There are several different pieces in chess and each piece has its own set of abilities and restrictions. This opens up the number of strategies and possibilities in achieving victory.

Now, I went through the trouble of discussing the differences between chess and checkers because I am surprised by the number of people that are looking at the latest controversy involving Senator Barack Obama and Rev. Dr. Jerimaih Wright as a game of checkers and not as a game of chess. Everyone, fueled by the media of course, seems to think that Senator Obama has “thrown Rev. Wright under the bus” when he responded to the comments a resurfaced Wright has made over the last 3 days.

I Think I Love My Wife Was a Horrible Movie

I’m sorry.  I don’t know what movie you people watched.  But this movie was horrible.  A complete, full fuck waster.  Anybody who watched this movie and thought that this was a good movie needs to be beat with a rolled up newspaper then have their nose rubbed across the TV screen as someone sternly shouts “NO…NO!!!”  By the time the credits started to roll I wanted to claw out my own eyeballs so that the rest of my body didn’t become crippled with the infectious disease I just watched.  To be perfectly honest I only kept watching because I kept thinking to myself that there just had to be some surprise ending that was going to make up for the horrendous beginning and middle.  Sadly there wasn’t.  I’m seriously concerned now because so many people have said this was a good movie that I now have to question their sanity.  See, my problem with this movie was that it wasn’t believable.  Now I understand that it’s a fictional movie and by definition that means “not real”, but still.  A movie like this should at the very least have some way of connecting with reality. ...Click for more

If I Shot a Cop 50 Times…

If me and my buddies shot a cop 50 times…they would have skipped a trial and just EZ-Passed our way into a lethal injection.  They would have painted me as some evil, sociopath with a appetite for crime.  My family, friends and acquaintances would be forced to publicly apologize for my actions in order to live normal lives of their own without having to go a lifetime being branded as the family or friend of a cop killer.  The family of my victim would be treated like royalty and the city would take care of the education of the children for life.   But when the situation is reversed, especially when the victim shot by the cops is black, none of that will happen.  If you haven’t heard by now the 3 cops that shot Sean Bell 50 times have been acquitted of all charges.  If you aren’t familiar with the story here’s the quick break down:

The night before Sean Bell was to get married, him and his boys were leaving an all-night bachelor part at the Kalua Club in Queens.  An argument broke out and one undercover cops thinks that one of Sean Bell’s friends is going to the car to get a gun (cause that’s what us black folk do).  The undercover calls for backup and the 3 undercovers draw their guns on the 3 men in the car.  Bells friends testify that they never heard the men identify themselves as cops.  Bell attempts to get away from the armed men (as any normal fucking person would) and the cops open fire.  50 bullets are fired.  One of the cops fires 31 times (yes, the fucker reloaded).  They claim they opened fire because they thought Bell was going to run them over.  The cop that got brushed by the car only fired 4 times.

Hillary Clinton Can’t Win

So by now you’ve heard the news. Hillary Clinton won Pennsylvania. I’ll be honest, I’m kinda depressed by the news. Not because I thought Senator Obama had a chance at winning that state but because I really wanted this primary race to be over. Now I have to go at least 2 more weeks dealing with Hillary Clinton supporters and republicans who have delusions of grandeur. They come up with these impossible scenarios in order of Senator Clinton to win the nomination. They always use the same line “Well, you never know…Obama’s campaign could have a major breakdown.” Come on…let’s be real. It would take Senator Obama giving a dirty Sanchez to a goat while a monkey plays with his balls as Michelle Obama filmed it for him to lose this race. The thing that really pisses me off though is the MSM is really giving hope to these poorly guided souls supporting Hillary Clinton. Some in the press are calling it an “incredible comeback” and a “huge blowout.” Excuse me? She won by 10% points. Right now she’s been allocated 10 more delegates than Obama. That means his lead is now down to 131 delegates. She needs Obama to have a Monica Lewinsky/blue semen stained dress incident…and Obama needs to be the one wearing the dress...Click for more

Obama Can Ball

I remember that “interview” where Obama was taking shots in the gym of some high school and the media was going crazy about how good he was at basketball. I really didn’t care because, he’s running to become President not to be the #1 draft pick in the NBA. But after the media’s fascination with the 37 Senator Obama bowled, followed by the ridiculous poll that shows him down in PA among bowlers and gun owners (he’s even with Clinton among beer drinkers though), I felt the need to balance things out. I mean really, bowlers and beer drinkers? What imbecile decided that was a good idea? What’s next? Polling to see who members of the Klan prefer? Anyway, if all you did was listen to the media, you would think Senator Obama was some non-athletic brainiac incapable of physical activity. Well, that is far from the truth. Just watch his interview from Real Sports...Click for more